In a recent conversation with Casey Jacox, a seasoned sales and leadership coach and the author of Win the Relationship, Not the Deal, we explored his unique philosophy on building lasting relationships in sales. Jacox emphasizes that cultivating genuine connections, rooted in humility, curiosity, and vulnerability, creates not only immediate business wins but also sustainable, long-term success. From his T.E.D. approach to his insights on ego and pipeline management, Casey offers actionable guidance that sales professionals and leaders alike can use to deepen client relationships and foster a culture of continuous growth.
Embracing Humility, Vulnerability, and Curiosity in Sales
Jacox believes that ego is a primary obstacle to growth in sales. Many sales professionals achieve early success and fall into complacency, which limits their curiosity and growth. He explains, “The best leaders and sellers I’ve worked with stay humble, ask questions, and are vulnerable enough to admit they don’t have all the answers.” In his view, the best sales are those that “close themselves,” with sellers focusing on helping buyers recognize value rather than pushing a deal.
By adopting humility and curiosity, Jacox advises salespeople to ask in-depth questions that align with client needs, a practice that often uncovers underlying issues and builds trust. In his words, “When people ask me questions that make me realize the value of their ideas, I’m more inclined to invest.” These traits, Casey stresses, are foundational for sales professionals who want to forge lasting client relationships.
The T.E.D. Approach: Tell, Explain, Describe
Jacox’s T.E.D. approach, which stands for “Tell me, Explain, Describe,” is a powerful method for encouraging open dialogue with clients. This strategy allows clients to express their goals, challenges, and needs in a meaningful way, which in turn enables sellers to pivot their conversations based on what’s most important to the customer.
For example, Jacox often begins meetings with questions like, “Describe what an ideal outcome would look like for you today.” This question not only opens the floor for the client but also allows the sales professional to adapt their approach to meet the client’s expectations. Through follow-up questions such as “Tell me more about why that’s important to you” or “Explain what would happen if you don’t solve that issue,” sales professionals can maintain a steady level of curiosity, revealing insights that lead to more personalized solutions.
Writing Win the Relationship, Not the Deal: The Six Principles of Relationship-Building
In Win the Relationship, Not the Deal, Jacox shares six key principles that have shaped his career as a top sales leader. These include fostering positivity, actively listening, setting clear expectations, documenting client interactions, and valuing continuous learning and practice. Jacox shares that these principles helped him maintain the #1 sales position at a publicly traded company for a decade.
One of his main motivations for writing the book was to help others prioritize relationships over transactions, a philosophy he found valuable in his own journey. “I wanted to write for everyone—from recent graduates to seasoned executives—who need a framework to deepen connections and see lasting success in sales,” he notes. By adopting these principles, Jacox believes that leaders and teams can create a culture that values long-term relationship-building as a core component of sales success.
Removing Ego from Sales Culture to Foster Growth
Ego, Jacox asserts, often stands in the way of personal and organizational growth. Drawing from his college football experience, where he learned to focus on team success rather than personal accolades, Jacox encourages leaders to minimize ego-driven attitudes within sales teams. “If you have to tell people how good you are, you’re not that good,” he remarks, recounting a valuable lesson from his coach.
Jacox emphasizes that removing ego begins with leadership. Leaders should recognize the contributions of team members and focus on collaborative achievements rather than individual triumphs. He believes that a growth-focused culture flourishes when all team members, from top performers to entry-level employees, feel valued and respected.
Identifying Top Sales Talent: Curiosity, Grit, and Positivity
When it comes to recruiting top sales talent, Jacox values traits like curiosity, resilience, and a positive attitude. He often gauges these qualities by asking candidates to share moments of personal adversity and how they overcame them. “I want to learn if they have the grit to handle tough days and the curiosity to keep asking questions,” he explains.
Jacox also draws inspiration from authors like Ryan Holiday, who wrote Ego is the Enemy, and Patrick Lencioni, author of The Ideal Team Player, which underscores the importance of being “hungry, humble, and smart.” For Jacox, these characteristics are essential for a high-performing, cohesive sales team.
Pipeline Management: The Importance of the MEDDICC Framework
As a dedicated follower of the MEDDICC framework, Jacox advises leaders to make this process integral to their pipeline management strategy. MEDDICC (Metrics, Economic Buyer, Decision Criteria, Decision Process, Identify Pain, Champion, Competition) provides a structured way to assess opportunities, which helps teams avoid common pitfalls.
He stresses that it’s crucial to manage MEDDICC actively, not just go through the motions. Each stage requires asking thoughtful, T.E.D.-based questions to uncover gaps in understanding. For instance, Jacox emphasizes the importance of knowing who the economic buyer is and understanding the client’s decision criteria, which can prevent costly assumptions down the line. Practicing this framework diligently can significantly improve close rates and ensure alignment between sales teams and clients.
The QB DadCast: Cultivating Leadership at Home and Work
Outside of sales, Jacox is also passionate about leadership within the family, which he explores in his podcast, The QB DadCast. Created as a space for fathers from all walks of life, the podcast emphasizes humility, vulnerability, and the importance of building strong relationships at home. Jacox sees a clear connection between leadership at home and success in professional sales, noting that being a good listener and a supportive figure in personal life translates directly to effective, empathetic leadership at work.
Summary
Casey Jacox
Through his experience, Jacox has distilled a powerful sales philosophy: winning the relationship is more important than closing the deal. His insights on curiosity, ego, relationship-building, and pipeline management highlight the importance of a human-centered approach in sales. For organizations and sales professionals aiming to build lasting connections and foster a culture of growth, Jacox’s principles offer a valuable roadmap for achieving sustainable success.
